A poem about me. I wish I was drunk


Shipping to United States: $7.00


Please note that these heartwarmingly offensive cross stitchings are made to order, custom colors and designs available on demand!
You can also admire my new profanity laden stitchings in all their glory or find inspiration for your custom on instagram @analprobeheartss

Colors may be customized - just write a note when ordering.

Your stitching will NOT come with the frame pictured but it will come framed. If you are interested in a "fancier" frame at an additional cost, please message me.

Frame opening measures 5" x 7"

Shipping from United States

*Christmas deadline is December 7, 2019 for made or order items. READY TO SHIP items (ornaments) will go continue to go out the same day they are purchased.*

Items shipped USPS 2-day. International items are shipped USPS.
Greeting cards are NOT shipped with tracking - hence the free shipping. If you would like tracking, shipping will be $7 for a flat rate envelope. Please message me for this option.

Returns & Exchanges

I gladly accept returns and exchanges

Just contact me within: 14 days of delivery

Ship items back to me within: 30 days of delivery

I don't accept cancellations

But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.

The following items can't be returned or exchanged

Because of the nature of these items, unless they arrive damaged or defective, I can't accept returns for:

  • Custom or personalized orders
  • Perishable products (like food or flowers)
  • Digital downloads
  • Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)

Returns and exchange details

No refunds after item has been paid for. If an item is damaged after shipping, please send me a message with photo of damage and I will make it right.


Please allow up to 72 hours to receive a response to messages.